1. Write a list
Then ignore it.
2. Start adequately caffeinated
Begin your trip right at Old George. It's the best coffee in town. I know that's a pretty big (not to mention, controversial) statement in this town, but I do not say it lightly. It is quite literally the best coffee I have ever had.
Old George roastery on the Terrace is my weekday morning regular, and the Bowen St cafe is open on weekends - perfect for your pre-shopping coffee. They even have almond milk for a low-FODMAP fix.
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| Your coping mechanism. |
3. Embrace the chaos
Once adequately caffeinated, use your coffee-fueled resolve to embrace the chaos head on.
Head to Toy World. There'll be everything you could have possibly imagined - for children and adults alike - in every different theme. (Lego. And Star Wars. At the same time? You bet.)
A word of caution: try not to stand on any children.
4. Make hints
Meander down Lambton Quay, wandering in and out of stores - pointing out to your significant other all of the delightful things that you never knew you needed but now simply can't live without.
For best results, try not to make your hints too subtle.
5. Keep safe
Always watch for hazards. Not standing on children is a great start, but avoiding stacks of books is also a good idea. (They are stacked to look pretty, not with structural integrity in mind.)
Be particularly vigilant as you walk into Lush. Allow your eyes to adjust to the brightness; inhale the deliciousness. Then take a quick gauge of the stress levels amongst the customers and staff. Feel your heart palpitate as you glance at the price tag on a nearby gift box.
Walk out. Quickly, without any sudden movements.
6. Stop for lunch at Neo
Shopping is hungry work, and Neo is the perfect place to refresh after trailing the length of Lambton, but before braving the chaos of Cuba. It might even be time for another almond milk flat white.
Neo is our favourite weekend lunch haunt, with its delicious gluten-free, low-FODMAP options.
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| Scrambled eggs and smoked tomato. |
From exciting brunch food, to decadent Whitakers chocolate cake. Not to mention great coffee and the best chicken salad and fries in town.
Parmesan on deep fried potato. Perfection.
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| Parmesan fries. |
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| Jerk chicken salad. |
Over your delicious food, take time to assess your progress.
Peruse Mighty Ape to discover all the things you could have bought more cheaply online. Plus all the gifts you were looking for but couldn't find in stores.
7. Keep some perspective
Take time to think about those people in your life that you are buying for. Be thankful for the resources that allow us to enjoy such extravagance.
And when you make it home with only half the presents you hoped, cursing the Secret Santa price limit, just remember - Christmas is about much more than shopping and presents.
Congratulate yourself on surviving the carnage. Extra points for not resorting to violence.
And definitely don't give up. There's plenty of days left until the 25th.
Besides, your next shopping trip might be the perfect excuse to try Neo's rich gluten-free chocolate cake.
